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Sunday, October 17, 2010

Frustrated

Im soooooo frustrated right now.

When I woke up this morning at 6am, I was so excited, energetic, looking forward for another teaching session with Prof Wahab. I arrived early this morning and had good breakfast. Initially Im planning to do short cases in the ward from 7.30 - 8.30am. However, the team leader (current paediatrics posting) said, prof wahab would like to do their seminar this morning & prof Wahab might combine CP session with the seminar.

So, I cancelled my plan to go to ward & review back my clerking sheets. I would like to present the case the best that I could. It turns out Prof Wahab will start class as 10am & he said my CP will be afterwards, after the class finished. As usual I joined the class, the seminar was about NTD, hydrocephalus, primary immunodeficiency & solid tumors. I enjoyed & understand the class. But I still cannot grasp about few malignancies presented by the juniors. Guess, I need to refer to the books after this.

My other colleague was absent today. She messaged me AFTER I sent her SMS at 9am reminding her of our class this morning. She replied she currently not feeling well. Initially, I said Ok. What else can I say.

After the class ended, Prof gestured me to follow him to his room in Level3. When I arrived at the department, Prof said, "where is your other colleague??" I replied "She said she's not feeling well". Then Prof straightaway said " I want to see both of you at the same time. So you present this friday together with her." Im soo frustrated.

Initially, I still kindly asked prof Wahab to continue the session as I had prepared & she just told she cannot make it this morning. For next session, I will prepare another case. But Prof Wahab refused & told me 'dont worry'.

Im not being selfish. But the class was scheduled this morning. She the one who asked me to present today & she asked her turn to be this friday. I prepare for the case last week despite I went home yesterday. She should stick & follow the schedule & inform earlier (like yesterday) ask for re-arrangement of class because she's not feeling well. Im so frustrated with this kind of attitude.

Time & tide waits for no man. In Quran also mentioned 'wal-asr'.

That said, Im not going to tolerate this kind of behaviour from her anymore. This is my peak of being patient with her attitude.

I have expectance from my family to fulfill. Im being positive & accept everything with open heart & mind. Only 2months left. So, Im not going to let her behaviour to trash all my efforts.

"Ya Allah, kau kurniakanlah ku kekuatan, kau kuatkanlah kesabaranku, kau ampunilah dosa kami & mudahkanlah urusan kami."

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